How To Take Back Control of Your Life

Why we fall for living in mediocrity












For years I wasted my time: Excessive TV watching, playing video games or internet shopping for crap I didn’t need. I’d come home from a 9-5 job and lose myself in worthless activities until the early hours of the morning. So why indulge in time wasting activities?

I was lost and didn’t know what I wanted.

When we don’t know what we want we drift through life like scavengers. We take from here and there, buying into the next popular brand, and dream about becoming famous or retiring life early on a beach in Maui.

But guess what, it isn’t going to happen.

If you’re frustrated, bent, broken, damaged, anxious or just feel hopeless,  nothing you continue to do is going to change any of that.

Nothing you continue to do will change anything unless you make a decision to do it differently. What you have been doing up until now, if you’re feeling all these things, is manifesting itself into a life of depressive guttural junk. If you are doing work you hate, punching in the clock everyday and just collecting a paycheck at the end and you feel miserable because of that, it’s game changer time.

Most people don’t do what they love to do for several reasons. One is they think its too much work [Yes, its hard work]. They feel invested in their “chosen” profession. I hear it all the time. “I’ve been doing this so long I don’t know how to do anything else.”

It’s an excuse and it is keeping you trapped. Excuses are what we use when we resist the amount of effort needed to make real life changes happen. Your excuses are the fears you are convinced are reality.

Stop with the excuses. Yes, life is hard. But if you live with your head buried in the sand like an ostrich you have nobody to blame but yourself. Get down with the reality of your situation; confront the brutal reality of where you are, and then build that vision of where you really want to be.

Gary Vanderchuk said “Look in the mirror and get real with who you are. Ask yourself what would I do with the rest of my life if I could do anything.” So there it is.

If you aren’t doing what you love, you’re doing work that somebody else loves and they are gaining more profit and freedom from your work. Oh right, let’s not forget, you are getting a paycheck. How would you feel if you were the one signing your own checks? What if I gave you a blank check right now and said “Here, fill in how much you want to be paid this week?”

It comes down to this: “How much do you really believe that you’re worth?” For years I cleared about four grand a month. Not a lot but it was enough to pay my bills. I did other side hustle jobs as well to supplement income, but no matter how hard I worked In this other job, whether they gave me one project or ten, my pay was the same. It didn’t matter. I realized that I was not in control of my financial destiny or anything else of that matter.

When your future is dictated by another person, company or organization, your life is that the mercy of their decisions. You make what they decide; but the flip side is, by accepting what they pay, you are settling for that.

You are completely responsible for how your life turns out. We can’t control many external circumstances, but there are some that we can and those are the choices that matter.

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Steve Jobs once said: “I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

I asked myself one day when I was doing the mirror challenge. Looking in the mirror I asked myself, “How far are you willing to go? What are you willing to do that you haven’t done yet? What scares you to the point you feel like running?”

This last question is critical. The answer is crucial. What scares you so bad that you avoid and procrastinate taking action on?” Whatever it is, that is what you need to be doing. Whatever it is you are running from is the ONE thing that can set you free. For years I avoided taking action because of fear. I was hoping that the fear would just “go away.” It didn’t. It stayed and over the months and years materialized into anxiety. My anxiety was a sign that I was running from my true identity.

Do you know who you really are, or are you feeding into the expectations of something else just to make somebody else happy? I know, we all want to be loved and avoid getting rejected. But what about the rejection you are forcing upon yourself? Do you realize most people who fear rejection are actually afraid of rejecting themselves? They are so  terrified of being accepted that they’ll do anything, even taking action towards stuff they don’t want to do, just to avoid rocking the boat.

I say ROCK THE BOAT, and rock it hard. Make a difference. Don’t settle for the mediocrity being sold out there.

My mentor once said to me: “If you wait for a storm to hit, you’ll get hit hard. But be ready for it and take action when it comes, you’ll get a much better outcome in the end. Your choices determine whether you’ll sink or float in bad weather.”

So the question is: “What are you wiling to do to get your dream off the ground? How far are you willing to go? What would you be willing to do that scares you so bad you’ll do anything to avoid it?”

Whatever your answer is, that’s what you should be doing.

Whatever your dream is, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes. This means doing the things that others refuse to do. That might be waking up really early to write that book or work on your online course. You might have to give up TV for six months or a year. Stop taking luxurious vacations so you have enough cash to funnel your dream. Identify what you want and then decide what you’re willing to give up to get it.

Final Pointers:

  • Identify the fears that are holding you back.
  • Make a commitment with yourself today that you are going to do something about this.
  • Do the mirror challenge everyday. Spend just ten minutes every night and in the morning getting serious about who you are, what you want and what you’ll do to get it.
  • Be prepared: if you are procrastinating on something, make a short list of actions you can take today.
  • Finally: Do what scares you, and do it often.

About Scott Allan

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